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20th-Mar-2008 12:33 pm - shine;
i told myself 'when you grow up you'll be a shining star;
after all it's better to burn out then to fade away.'
20th-Mar-2008 12:10 pm - i wish i could have had you;

i worry about where you've been.
where you're planning on going.
and who's going to replace me.
19th-Mar-2008 09:01 am - scream it out;
i am sick of the silence that comes with loneliness,
even when the music's loud and the world is screaming.
i guess i've just learned that it hurts.
17th-Mar-2008 07:54 am - so far;
so far today i have only had 125 calories.
i had one and a half pieces of toast with 1tbsp of jam = 115 calories at 8 am.
then i had 1/4 cup of plain green beans = 10 calories at 9 am.
and now it's 11:26 pm and i still haven't eaten.
huzzah! progress.
i did much better then i wanted to. yay!

17th-Mar-2008 05:24 am - i hate these channels;
i want to be acknowledge for something other then my addictions.
i want to feel like people need me for more then a fix.
it can be a scary scene but i'm so far in it now.
god damn it, i need to stop eating.
today is my last binge out, then it's strictly 500 calories.
fuck man.
17th-Mar-2008 04:23 am - insomnia prevails;
insomnia once again rears her ugly head my direction.
i am so tired but i can't sleep alone.
i have a pill of e in my room and the desire to snoot the shit out of it it's amazing.
i know if i do i'll get in shit, but at least it'd make my hunger decrease.
i've got a long day of being fatigued and bored ahead of me.

it's 4:30 now, at about 7 i will run on the treadmill.
i had a great weekend, problem is vodka has 50+ calories a shot,
i smoked a hell of a lot of weed, drank so much, and went to some random apartment and snooted e off some girls table.
the whole glass table was covered in chalky white remnants of coke and lime green lines of e.

the atmosphere was so intriguing and so relaxing.
i was completely enthralled when i first entered the apartment, it was like a memory.
it smelt familiar, the lighting felt familiar, and the whole overall sentiment was so personal to me.
it was a very positive environment, cloudy with cigarettes and powered with drugs.
brilliant. extremely brilliant.

my sleep last night was completely dreadful, and tonight's has been no better.
i passed out so fast last night but only for a few hours.
i am craving strawberries so badly as this particular moment and i might give in to the desire.
i know i shouldn't, it takes too long to lose weight, but their so low cal.
my life finally is starting to feel under control.
17th-Mar-2008 12:48 am - summer;
i am officially done eating for the night.
i didn't binge at all today and even passed down ice cream!

i can not wait for spring time, summer time, warm time.
it seems like it's been so long since i've seen grass, seen bright warm skies, and a golden pallet of sunshine.
i have never wanted summer as much as i do now, i will create a list of things i want to do.
16th-Mar-2008 11:20 pm - getting it together;
i am currently allowing myself 500 calories a day for the next fifteen days.
if i eat 500 calories everyday by the end of the fifteenth day i will be near my goal weight.
[i will eat healthy and only when i am hungry and exercise everyday]

my exercise routine for this week is as follows;

14th-Mar-2008 07:56 am - update;
I am completely in love with eBay lately.

These will be here so soon, can't wait.
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